Moving!

So, I'm making a deeper commitment to this whole "Blog-Fog" and making a move! You can now find me at

http://www.lisagobrien.com/

Faith

This week I ran across a piece on faith that I wrote several years ago and remembered the conversation that it ignited and thought I'd share it today. I wrote this when we lived in England and I was going through a life and faith tranforming season. Reading it again for myself reminds me of a scripture that says there is nothing new under the sun. How true that is and this piece clearly demonstartes how cyclical life can be. It is strangely applicable, inspirational and motivational for my present season!

I recently read that the three most volatile subjects, the most responsible for wars and famines, are Money, Politics, and Religion. They divide relationships, countries, and families quicker than anything else. I have no intention of discussing any of the three in this particular writing! I do, however, intend to explore my own idea of faith, excluding all religion, money, and politics, from the mix! I really just want to explore the ever changing face of my own personal spiritual faith.

Faith is an individual expression of a person's soul. Faith looks as different to each individual as each face or fingerprint in the world. It is not something that can be bought in a box or sold to the masses. It is not something one is born with or inherits. It is acquired through whatever road this life takes you on! It is nurtured in the moments of sheer joy when you absolutely understand something of the Supernatural. It is developed in the moments of absolute pain, when tears wash away everything you ever thought you knew. It is gathered as you walk your pathway in life and meet souls along the way that teach you, inspire you, love you, hate you, support you, disagree with you, and accept you. It isn't something tangible or even always explainable. Faith is the connection of a flawed and hopeless human being to the Supernatural.

If my theory is anywhere near correct, then I find myself at a crossroads of faith. My pathway has taken me across a big wide ocean to a new country. My pathway has brought me to a place where I am encountering new people, new ideas, new culture, and new experiences. My spiritual journey has brought me to a place of new beginnings. It is requiring me to start over, to wipe away all that was my life and create again. Now, creating something, whether it is with words, a picture, art, drama, music, whatever....is something that gives me life! The idea now, at this crossroads of my life and faith, leaves me intimidated, fearful, and unsure.

When life has taken me to a place that I cannot navigate alone, this is exactly where my Faith must kick in! This is where my Faith works itself out, shows its true nature, and reveals its character. It is at the crossroads of my life that my faith has grown and matured. It reveals itself in the moment when I stand at the edge of the cliff deciding if I jump and find a new path or turn around and return to the road I was already traveling. It is at this point that my own personal faith chooses an intimate relationship with God, Creator of the universe.  This relationship excludes all religion and tradition, it simply strips away all the external nonsense and finds its way inside to the quiet recesses of my soul, where it is just me and God.

So, the state of my faith right now is a very intimate, raw, and honest conversation with the Almighty about my fear, intimidation, and uncertainty. I must admit, that because of my personality, it is more a really loud argument, negotiation, and persuasive speech.  The Almighty’s side of the conversation is a gentle whisper reassuring me that I can offer my soul at this crossroads and He will take care of it. I encountered a verse in the Bible this week that He is whispering in my ear over and over.  1 Peter 5:6 – “So be content with who you are, and don’t put on airs. God’s strong hand is on you, He’ll promote you at the right time. Live carefree before God, He is most careful with you.” And so, as I sit on the floor throwing, what in all practical sense amounts to a spiritual tantrum, He asks me to live carefree before Him and tells me He is most careful with me.

The antithesis to my Faith and intimate relationship with the Divine is my head. My head requires explanation, the big picture, logic, and reason. The spiritual seeker in me has to test, doubt, and question the very nature of a Supernatural being that would be so kind. What is He up to? What does He want? My faith and head are always at odds with each other. There is no logic or reason to much of our life, our journey, or our faith….that is why it is so difficult to work out! And it ALWAYS requires risk. Each act of individual faith requires me to take a risk, no matter which crossroads I find myself traveling. The risk is huge and overwhelming…risk of failing, being judged, being wrong, being right, being rejected, and too many more to list.

So the question of faith I am asking myself these days is, “Is it worth the risk?” I understand there are all sorts of very spiritual answers some may choose at this point. I can even name a few I am saying to myself! There are all sorts of pre-packaged religious and intellectual sayings and quotes that would seem to be an appropriate response to someone asking that question. But maybe the wiser response is to let the question hang in the air, dangling over the edge of this crossroads, and allow my Faith to work it out, in its own time and its own way. Just as each of you must work out your Faith on the journey your life has you on! I hope that you will each ask those same questions as you travel your journey.

Twenty-Seven

Are you kidding me? Twenty-Seven straight days of consistency and discipline in writing?! They say, (never have figured out who "they" are), anyway, they say that it takes forty days to create a habit...well, I'm almost there! I'm actually very surprised that I haven't thrown in the towel, walked away, or just given up. There may be hope for me yet, folks!!

Surrender

A difficult concept, no matter who you are or where you are from! If you have a military background, there is no place for surrender...ever! The white flag does not fly quickly or easily if your burden is pride. Alternatively, if addiction and recovery is your reality, surrender is necessary for freedom! There is no freedom from addiction, pain, guilt, or woundedness until there is surrender. It's strange to think about really, as it's so counter-intuitive. Step 3 of the 12 Steps says we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. When an addict really wants freedom, the odd catch is that we also want control at the same time. The reality is in order to receive desired freedom, a willing choice to surrender is the only way.

God has a funny way of crafting our journies to lovingly ensure that we have opportunities to work out life's lessons that bring growth! My journey has recently taken an unexpected turn and, while I intitially did not see it as "an opportunity for growth", my perspective has changed. I desire more freedom, more growth, and more strength in my life. I desire less fear, less intimidation, and less frustration. Recognizing what I already know....in order to receive those things, I have to make a desicion to willingly surrender. I have to let go of my desire to control and to keep things safe and I have to choose to surrender. The act and choice of letting go brings me the very thing I desire. The chaos of this reality is that to get what I want I have to do the one thing I don't want...did you get that?! It's enough to do a girl's head in, really.

So today, I want to surrender....although, if I'm being honest, some days I really only want to want to surrender. The battle is my own. It's me against myslef, one part of me fighting to let go and trust and one part fighting to hang on and control. Today, I give the trusting part of myself the greatest power and willingly turn my will over to God. He's always a far better pilot and navigator on this jounrey of life! Bring on the freedom!

Perspective

Today, I'm thinking a lot about perspective. We were in New York last week and I, of course, had my camera at the ready everywhere we went. It was interesting thinking about the city from different perspectives. At the base of the Empire State building it was busy, noisy, smelly, and dirty. I took a photograph of the building from the street and the perspective was architecturally interesting. But, once we were on top, the whole world changed. The city went on forever and seemed to be frozen still, as if there was nothing moving on the street. It was strangely peaceful, clean, and quiet. The photographs I took from that perspective were breathtaking. The contrast between the two perspectives was astonishing!

I'm pondering that experience today and seeing how applicable it is to my own life. I can stand on the street of my life and hear the noise, be distracted by the smells, and be swallowed up by all the motion. That perspective leaves me feeling frustrated, defeated, and overwhelmed. I realize that I also have the choice to take the elevator to the top! I can choose to view my life from a more divine perspective, where my future goes on forever, and things on the street seem still, and where there is calm and peace.

A change in perspective today can bring me closer to peace, closer to freedom, and closer to beauty. It can also bring a change in the way I view myself, my life, and others! What about you? Do you need to take an elevator ride to the top of your life and view it from a different perspective?

Bucket List

Someone recently wrote me and suggested that I include an entry on my Bucket List. Great idea, Thanks! :)I've never made an "official" Bucket List, so now seems as good a time as any. If I had created a Bucket List years ago, some of the things on that list I've had the tremendous priveledge to have already crossed off. So, here goes:

    Stand in the Sistine Chapel
X Go on Safari in Africa
    Walk the Great Wall of China
X Visit Westminster Abbey
     Sky Dive
X  See the Mona Lisa in the Louvre
    Witness a baby being born (not my own)
X  Go to the Olympics
     Visit Pearl Harbor
X  Live in a foreign country
     Travel to Israel
X  Deep sea fishing
     Write a book
X  See the Queen of England
     Travel to every continent
X  Visit Paris
     Teach my kids to drive
X  See the Statue of Liberty
    Visit Australia
X Travel to Ireland
    Polar Bear Safari in Canada
X Go to Barcelona
    Visit the Taj Mahal
X Enjoy Chocolate in Belgium
    Travel to Venice

I'm sure I can think of lots more, but I will ponder these for now! Good thing I'm still young! ;)

Deepest Fear

Marianne Williamson wrote something that has profoundly impacted my world. I think that there are lots of layers to it and I certainly haven't come to a place where I fully understand it or live it out in my life. I have a very deep desire for this to be true of me....someday!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This poem is framed in my office and I see it daily. Sometimes I just see it as a nice motivation or needed inspiration. But today, I feel the need to let it sink a bit deeper into my soul and begin to transform some very needed parts of me. It seems a natural instinct for me to want to shrink back and to "play small" in order not to intimidate others. I've found that a positive quality, although the reality is sinking in that it may not serve as positive a purpose as I had once thought. I've experienced that ego and arrogance lead to only selfishness, greed, and violence and none of those things improve the world around me. Contemplation leads me to the next line ("We are all meant to shine as children do) and the reality that I'm pretty certain I did not shine as a child sits sort of heavy on my heart. I had to grow up very quickly and the light of childhood and innocence was snuffed out far too quickly. I have watched my children shine everyday for 15 years and don't often see them shrink back or play small. I long to be liberated from my fear, to live each day motivated and driven by love. What a joy it would be to wake up with the freedom and permssion to let my light shine freely into the world around me! If that were to give others permission to be liberated and shine in their own unique way, it would just be an added bonus, really!

I will continue to grow through this journey and hopefully begin to discover more fully how to live this out day by day! What does it look like for you to SHINE to the world around you? Are there people who can be liberated by your presence?

Jambo

Just felt the need to visiually share feelings of joy and rest today. I've certainly not traveled the entire world, but the one place in the world I have been that so beautifully lives and exhibits rest and joy is Kenya. In the midst of unbelievably extreme poverty and governmental opression, the Kenyans are jovial, full of energy, and a peaceful people.

Jambo means Hello is Swahili, but it really is more a state of being than a greeting. It is a joyful and peaceful state of being that Africans want to share with everyone they come in contact with. It represents well the state of my soul today!

Input

Input

Shared Theme Description

People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights

What makes you stand out?

Chances are good that you are determined to keep abreast of the news. You probably satisfy your hunger for current information by habitually reading newspapers, magazines, correspondence, memos, files, or Internet sites. Driven by your talents, you probably enjoy the company of forward-looking individuals. They think about what the world will be like in the coming years, decades, or centuries. Undoubtedly, you read as much as you can about

these people. In addition, you are likely to have studied in detail the books and articles they have authored. It’s very likely that you intentionally build your vocabulary to include theoretical, intricate, technical, or difficult-to-understand words. For you, this is an ongoing process. Understandably, you prefer to spend time with people who recognize and appreciate your mastery of language. These individuals value the sophisticated terminology you use with ease. They are likely to ask you what a word or phrase means. These inquiries spotlight your specialized or extensive vocabulary. By nature, you sometimes enjoy instructing others. Because you like to read, you probably have more information to share with your students than some educators do. The individuals you tutor benefit from the facts or insights you gather from the printed page or the computer screen. Because of your strengths, you acquire lots of new words from your reading. Examining how each one is used in various sentences probably helps you grasp multiple meanings. When the definition eludes you, you are apt to turn to the dictionary for clarification. Your passion for the written word is not reserved for entertainment. You probably are as eager to dive into complicated, technical, or subjectspecific

texts as you are to pick up best-selling books or popular publications.

Adaptability

Adaptability

Shared Theme Description

People who are especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights

What makes you stand out?

By nature, you realize possibility thinkers fuel your imagination. They traditionally convince you that you can breathe life into their dreams for the coming months, years, or decades. It’s very likely that you likely are the team member who slows down to gaze on the loveliness of your environment. You have an easier time fitting into new settings than some people do. Why? You probably see and are fascinated by the aesthetic — that is, beautiful — qualities of each place. Because of your strengths, you dread adhering to someone else’s calendar. You prefer to determine your own schedule and pace. You enjoy responding to challenges and crises as they present themselves. Instinctively, you commonly are the group member who is most comfortable reacting to whatever happens as it occurs. You welcome change in processes, plans, procedures, or the ways resources are distributed. You can to adjust to a wide range of circumstances without becoming upset and thus causing others to become troubled. Driven by your talents, you picture yourself handling situations and issues that could arise in the coming months, years, or decades. You mentally rehearse what you plan to do in various worst-case and best-case scenarios. Your forethought prepares you to deal with whatever happens. You are a flexible person. You are not easily flustered by unexpected events, problems, or opportunities.

Ideation

Shared Theme Description

People who are especially talented in the Ideation theme are fascinated by ideas. They are able to find connections between seemingly disparate phenomena.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights

What makes you stand out?

Chances are good that you are ecstatic — that is, thrilled — when you read about a novel concept or an original theory. Probably, the hope of discovering a new way of thinking motivates you to read a lot. You enjoy collecting a variety of information. You sense that one day you will find a proper use for it. Instinctively, you spontaneously tune in to what others think of you as a person and as a professional. As a result, you intentionally commit to

memory complicated and intricate words as well as specialized terminology. You use language to your advantage in situations when you desire to influence, confront, make demands of, or issue orders to people. Your vocabulary allows you to speak with authority. Driven by your talents, you may feel more favorable about life when you can freely use your sophisticated vocabulary. Perhaps your enjoyment of language is multiplied when your choice of words stimulates the thinking of others. It’s very likely that you expend much mental energy to devise innovative ways of doing things. A change here and a change there normally stimulate your thinking. By nature, you automatically think of new and different ways to do things. Your mind is brimming with ideas. You probably are eager to share them with whoever will listen.

Ideation

Strategic

People who are especially talented in the Strategic theme create alternative ways to proceed. Faced with any given scenario, they can quickly spot the relevant patterns and issues.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights

What makes you stand out?

It’s very likely that you are innovative, inventive, original, and resourceful. Your mind allows you to venture beyond the commonplace, the familiar, or the obvious. You entertain ideas about the best ways to reach a goal, increase productivity, or solve a problem. First, you think of alternatives. Then you choose the best option. Chances are good that you are known for your ease with language. This ability serves you well when you need to talk with newcomers or outsiders. Your vocabulary probably allows you to tell stories or express your ideas with great clarity. Instinctively, you might feel satisfied with life when your innovative thinking style is appreciated. You might pinpoint trends, notice problems, or identify opportunities some people overlook. Armed with this knowledge, you may devise alternative courses of

action. By evaluating the circumstances, available resources, and potential consequences of each plan, perhaps you can select the best option. By nature, you may be attracted to assignments that demand original and inventive thinking. In some cases, you track down new ideas, facts, or data. Your out-of-the-box thinking might challenge some people to abandon, or at the very least to question, specific conventional practices. When you cause one or two of them to suggest options, maybe their need to protect the status quo will be replaced by a desire to gather more information. Driven by your talents, you select the right combination of words to convey your ideas or feelings. In the middle of discussions, your vocabulary provides you with precise phrases and terminology. You probably express yourself with ease and grace.

Strategic

Shared Theme Description

Connectedness

Shared Theme Description

People who are especially talented in the Connectedness theme have faith in the links between all things. They believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.

Your Personalized Strengths Insights

What makes you stand out?

Chances are good that you spontaneously connect diverse people with one another. You approve of individuals as they are rather than as you wish them to be. This surely frees your mind to search for ideas, interests, or personal experiences you have in common. Instinctively, you sense that you are inextricably linked to your teammates. You understand your success depends on each one of them just as their individual success hinges on you.

Driven by your talents, you consider people more important than things. The value you place on humankind guides your decision-making. It also influences what you say and do as well as what you choose not to say and do. Because of your strengths, you know you are a strand in the intricate web of life. You search for ways to link with individuals who also ponder concepts, theories, or philosophies. In their company, you are apt to discover or rediscover

your special place and purpose in life. By nature, you sense every event is somehow the consequence of a series of actions, reactions, or lack of actions. You can accept that which cannot be fully explained using logic. You say there are no accidents. You are confident that

things are linked together for a purpose that may or may not be revealed to you.

Connectedness

Rest

Stop what you are doing. Take a deep breath in and blow it out slowly. Quiet your mind for just a minute and just be still. If you are an American, you are probably feeling the awkward sensation of something the rest of the world calls REST. We, as Americans, know how to succeed, endure, work, and strive....but rest is something we are far less conditioned in and equipped than the rest of the world. Sadly, it does not serve our souls well.

After living in the UK for 18 months, my body, mind, and spirit fell into the habit and pattern of regular rest. Knowing every six weeks half term was coming seemed to fuel me to be able to stay engaged because I knew that rest was on the way. I believe it had a profound impact on who I am. We have been home in the US for a little over a year, without any significant times of rest, and I am desperately in need of it.

So, tomorrow begins a week long rest and time of creative stimulation, travel, and fun with my family. I have disciplined myself to write extra this week and have scheduled a post for every day that I'm gone. I'm going to be reminding myself of my 5 top strengths, according to Strength Finders and just rest in them for the week. I'm most certain I will come back refreshed and ready to be diligent in continuing this journey!

Angel Baby

Today I celebrate the birth of my baby, who twelve years ago, we called Angel Baby. He brings with him into this world an infectious sense of humor, crazy mad artistic skills, the ability to bring joy and laughter to people, incredible character, a sensitive and generous soul, and an insatiable hunger for adventure. I am so blessed to be his mom, have him in my life, and to watch him grow into the man he was created to be!

Elevator Ride

My 7th grade student that I'm mentoring, we'll call her M, is on my mind this morning. I will see her later today and I'm reflecting on last weeks time. I met her in the hallway of the Middle School and asked her to sit down on the bench for a minute.

I offered her a couple of ideas, "We could go into the counselor's office and play a game, we could go into the Library and share some conversation, reading magazines, etc or we could go outside and walk the track." She stared thoughtfully at me.
"Or," I said, shoulders shrugging, "you could pick something else you'd like to do."
Her eyes instantly lit up and her face became bright. "Could we ride the elevator?" she beamed hopefully at me.
"Of course we can!!" I was so excited to have an open door from this shy and introverted girl.

We rode the elevator, several times, and when we came out she was almost skipping down the hall. She told me that ever since she started at this school she has wanted to ride the elevator, but didn't want to break the rules. She had recently befriended two girls, one blind and one wheelchair bound, in hopes that one day she would get to ride with them in the elevator. She was elated to do something that had been so elusive to her just moments before. It was as if the possibility of achieving the impossible had landed right into her hands and she could feel it! This quiet and shy girl, who 1 week ago could barely tell me her favorite color or hobby, proceeded to tell me all about her dreams, her goals, her friends, her family, and even her passions for the next 40 minutes. I wonder what marvelous mystery awaits M and me today?

Holy Cow!

I have done something consistently for 13 days!! I think that might be some kind of miracle! For me, it most certainly is! So, today, I will take some time to reflect on what 13 days of disciplined consistency has taught me.

-I am very undisciplined and really resist it. I think I feel like if it isn't "spontaneous" and "organic" it isn't real and authentic. I've discovered that's not totally true. There can be just as much authenticity in planned writing as spontaneous. That's new information to me!

-I realize that I give up too easily when things (tasks mostly) get difficult. I am a people person and when people get hard and messy, I don't give up or run away. I engage I wrestle, I encourage, and I motivate people! I guess because people inspire me and are life-giving. But when tasks get boring, monotonous, difficult, messy, complicated, and rigid...I just walk away and give up.

-I'm a little freaked out by the fact that I have absolutely no control over who reads this, where or when they read it, and how they react or respond to it. There is definitely a control freak in me waiting for a weak moment to creep out and take over the world. It's head has been peeking around the corners of my mind recently and I'm struggling to keep it at bay.

So, it's crazy cool that I am still here and still writing. I am apparently learning a bit along the way, which is total bonus! This journey may very well bring me more growth than I imagined!

Change

Change is an inevitable part of life. I am normally the kind of person that responds well to change. I can find some bit of positivity, hope, and new life in most changes. Change usually breaths new life into me and makes me excited for possibility. But sometimes life throws me a curve ball and pops a change into my "life's glove" that I'm not really sure how to process. That's where I'm at today. Life threw me a curve ball and I'm just not quite sure how to sit with it. My heart is always moved towards people, so changes that involve people seem to be more difficult for me. I truly believe that people are more important than things and so changes that hurt people, hurt me. Honestly, that's so annoying to me! I wish I were one of those "thinker types" and could logically process a situation and come to a very logical, neat, and sorted conclusion! One free of any perception, emotion, or empathy. I guess I don't really wish that for me, cause that would change me into a version of myself I wouldn't enjoy, I just sort of wish it for me today.

A phrase I've used often is "Life is dynamic and always changing. True character reveals itself in the crossroads of change." If I'm being totally honest, my automatic response to this change has left me questioning my character. My automatic response was to withdraw, run away, and hide. I didn't want to think about it, talk about, and certainly not feel it! In this change, and because of the circumstances surrounding it, I just have this longing to be someone different than I am. I long to be disconnected, unattached, and logically sorted. Unfortunately, that is just not who I am! I'm not totally certain if it's personality, character, or both, that continually drives me to care, to perceive, to love, and to feel. So, I suppose the fact that my heart is so heavy does reveal more about my character than the fact that I just wanted to run away.

This week I have been working on Strength Finders and trying to discover my strengths. The timing of this discovery sort of sucks and is awesome...all at the same time. I am faced with the reality of who I am and it gives me clues into why this change is so terribly difficult to me. I appreciate the basis for Strength Finders which is to spend your energy developing who you are and your natural talents, instead of spending all your energy and focus on your weaknesses and deficiencies. I think the majority of my adult life has been about overcoming my faults, healing my past, and strengthening my weaknesses. The idea that maybe this very difficult change could drive me to take a stand in my own heart and refuse to focus on my weaknesses and truly celebrate my strengths, is encouraging. The fact that I might be able to find a way to pave a road for myself where I could build on the natural talents I already have and flourish in them is very exciting.

So, even in the midst of this difficult change, I am drawn to find the good thread and purpose in it. Even though, I struggle to make sense of it, I'm drawn to have confidence that I am not the Holder of the Universe and Creator of the future. Even though it hurts and is difficult, I am compelled to see that this is another opportunity for me to grow and learn.

Basic Math

Basic math, as I understand it, says that 1 + 1 = 2 and many variations of the same idea. I did not excel in Math and I am very happy to accept that. But the truth is, many times we want to apply Basic Math to our lives, our families, our faith, and our journeys. Im not sure that is a fair application for our own personal growth and life journeys. The Basic Math Life Theory goes something like this,

IF I put 1 Man + 1 Woman, it will equal = Happily ever after. IF I put 1 Career + 1 Ambition, it will = Success. IF I put 1 Broken Past + 1 Wounded Adult, it will = Addiciton.

You're following my line of thinking now, right? So, we live our lives, make our choices, and relate to others on the construction that life follows the rules of Basic Math. But, what if it doesn't? I suppose you could invert each of these Math equations to their opposite.

IF I put 1 Man + 1 Woman, it will equal = Nightmare ever after. IF I put 1 Career + 1 Ambition, it will = Repeat Failures. IF I put 1 Broken Past + 1 Wounded Adult, it will = Wounded Healer.

What if there was a divine calculator that had different Math Rules? What if the way we add up the parts of our life bring us to a surprising discovery? It reminds of the lyrics to a song by a band called 10th Avenue North.

You are more than the choices that you've made,

You are more than the sum of your past mistakes,

You are more than the problems you create,

You've been remade.

How do you see your life in the construction of the Basic Math Life Theory? How could you see it differently if you apply the divine calculator and invert the theory? What unlimited possibilities could your life hold if this new theory applied to you?

Morrocco?

Ok, since it's Monday (Not really sure why that is significant...just felt like the appropriate "card to play" here) and I've been consistent to write daily (again...no connection), I'm going to indulge in my own unique, and crazy silliness today. Now, if you don't know me, this blog entry might make me look like a loony-bird and I'm completely OK with that. If you do know me, then you are laughing in appreciation and celebration over my unique brand of silly! :)

So, in my "Blog-Fog" (oooh...TOTALLY just made that up!), basically just a cloud of ignorance that swallows me up in this new space I have entered. Anyway, in my "Blog-Fog" I was stumbling through all the fancy tabs, and technical whosa-whiches (yep, made that up to) and accidentally stumbled onto this map. I was of course interested in the map, even though I had no idea what purpose it served. As I investigated a bit closer, I discovered it is a map that shows where people are reading and connecting to me. "Oh Fun!," I thought. There were several locations that made sense to me, United States (obviously), United Kingdom (Hiya Mates!), and the Philipines (Shannie!). But there was one that made no sense to me at all, Morrocco!?! I have never been to Morrocco and I don't know anyone in Morrocco.

So, I won't ask you to take the journey to crazy I took in processing through this little piece of information my "Blog-Fog" revealed. Needless to say, just thought I would do one of two things here today....

1. Say hi to my new Morroccan friend OR
2. Discover which of my UK mates spent Half-Term in Morrocco

Whew...thanks for helping me clear that crazy up! :)

Pencil in the Hand of God

A couple of years ago I came across an interview that Time Magazine did with Mother Theresa in 1989.  If you're interested, you can read it here http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,959149,00.html?promoid=googlep She eloquently communicate something that connected to my soul. When asked if she had any special qualities, she responded,

"I don't claim anything of the work. It is His work. I am like a little pencil in His hand. That is all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do with it."

This resonated with me in such a profound way that I needed to find a way to visually express the concept. Below is the photo I took that day, that hangs in a gallery wrap in my home office as a daily reminder that I am just a pencil in the hand of God.

Teacher Influence

This week I've been thinking about making a difference in the lives of kids through mentoring. It's interesting for me to look back at the adults and teachers that invested in me as I was growing up. Most of them probably have no idea the influence they had on me. My favorite teacher was in Junior High, Mrs. Antcliff. She was a happy teacher who always saw the best in her students. She was the kind of teacher who truly engaged with her students and focused on individual growth. She left a significant impression on my soul. I had a Spanish Teacher in high school, named Senora Segal, who probably was one of the most influential teachers in my life. She didn't really ever say or do anything amazing. She was tranquil and consistent. Mostly, she was positive and always pointed out what I was doing right, which really drove me to start believing in myself.


I just wanted to take a minute today to highlight someone who does this everyday! My cousin, Shannon Grabow (soon to be Wislang), is an Elementary teacher at the International School of Manila. She is an uber creative, full of life, and positive influence in the lives of kids every single day! Check out one of the latest videos she made with her class http://grabows.ism-online.org/2011/02/23/the-3-rs/ What an inspiration!


Take some time this week to appreciate a teacher in your life!

Mentor a Child

Friday is here. It's my day off, which means no email, no strategy meetings, and no phone calls. It means time to rest, to unwind, and to have fun. It also means something new for me, mentoring.

I learned this year that the Texas Departments of Corrections sets their ten year budget based on the reading tests scores of Texas third graders. The city of Austin, and surrounding areas is taking the idea of mentoring school kids seriously. Local school districts are partnering with non-profits and churches to try and provide thousands of mentors for local students. So, I jumped at the challenge and now spend an hour every Friday with a gentle spirited and shy 7th grade girl at Wiley Middle School.

Mentoring is one of the most underrated forms of relationship. There have been so many people in my life who "accidentally" mentored me. It was nothing formal. There was no plan or agenda, and often times they didn't even know they were mentoring me. I was just watching them live and catching the things that I needed to catch. When we humbly step into the life of another, with no agenda and no selfish motives, it is transformational for both people. I have no idea where to take this girl, how to get her to open up, help her trust me, or challenge her in helpful ways. It's a complete mystery.

Something beautifully mysterious happens when we choose to give our life away, expecting nothing in return. So, I'm ready, bring on the mystery!!

Better Place

A motto and theme I have carried with me for quite some time is that "I want to leave the world a better place than I found it."  If I remember correctly, it was birthed in a morbid pity party on a very dark night of my soul, but it's traveled with me since that time. It has driven me to seek healing for those dark places in my soul, to create a healthy family, and to give my life away.

This is the way I most often WANT to live, but find myself failing far more than I'm comfortable with. There is this duality that lives in me of who I am and who I'm meant to be. This inner conflict is the main thing that drives me to know God more. There is this magnetic pull between my soul and Him and I'm very cognizant that it is only when I invite Him into my ideal of leaving the world a better place, that I have any capacity to actually do it!

I quote Mother Theresa a lot, and will just go ahead and do it today!! She once said, "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." What does it look like for you to live your life today with a desire to make the world a better place? What would it look like for you to see people as the best version of themselves and leave them better and happier?

Blah Blah Blah

Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah, blah blah blah.

Okay, I think I  have discovered that after 4 days, I'm bored! (I may need to revisit this as the potential source of my difficulty with consistency and obedience, but we can do that later....and maybe I should add procrastination to the list!) So, while I am a somewhat organized person, my creative nature cannot stand discipline. Oh dear, did I just say that in cyberspace...OUT LOUD?!? It's true, I know it. I am innately rebellious towards discipline, structure, and process. I lean towards the organic, flexible, and spontaneous forms of life and relationship. It makes me wonder, how that might change, morph, or grow along this journey I am on right now? I'm reminded of a quote by Mother Theresa - Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies. 

So, even though I have said nothing of value, I'm going to find strength and contentment in the fact that I've continued to write today, even in the boredom. I'm going to choose to celebrate the baby steps!

"All the great bands....

started with a keyboard and drums!" my son said to his sister (who was happily pounding the ivories), drumsticks in hand and a light in his eyes. I love accidentally stumbling into conversations between my kids! It gives me a window into their relationship, as well as their souls. This conversation was in the middle of several hours of music making merriment, a beautiful and rare moment in time where my kids got lost in their own giftedness and creativity.

They are my heroes! For so many reasons, but today, because they have this insatiable hunger to dream, become, create, and live. They can get lost in a moment and let it carry them to places only their imagination can take them. There are no fears, boundaries, or insecurities in their imagination. It is the place that they journey to become who they were created to be!

The older I get and farther I travel on this journey, the more I want to be like my kids! I want to get lost in my gifts, my imagination, my dreams. To get lost in a moment of my soul, where it knows that anything is possible. To find myself in the middle of a dream that my soul somehow knows is a divine possibility. I want to live in that place where everyday is a journey to become who I was created to be!