Surrender

A difficult concept, no matter who you are or where you are from! If you have a military background, there is no place for surrender...ever! The white flag does not fly quickly or easily if your burden is pride. Alternatively, if addiction and recovery is your reality, surrender is necessary for freedom! There is no freedom from addiction, pain, guilt, or woundedness until there is surrender. It's strange to think about really, as it's so counter-intuitive. Step 3 of the 12 Steps says we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. When an addict really wants freedom, the odd catch is that we also want control at the same time. The reality is in order to receive desired freedom, a willing choice to surrender is the only way.

God has a funny way of crafting our journies to lovingly ensure that we have opportunities to work out life's lessons that bring growth! My journey has recently taken an unexpected turn and, while I intitially did not see it as "an opportunity for growth", my perspective has changed. I desire more freedom, more growth, and more strength in my life. I desire less fear, less intimidation, and less frustration. Recognizing what I already know....in order to receive those things, I have to make a desicion to willingly surrender. I have to let go of my desire to control and to keep things safe and I have to choose to surrender. The act and choice of letting go brings me the very thing I desire. The chaos of this reality is that to get what I want I have to do the one thing I don't want...did you get that?! It's enough to do a girl's head in, really.

So today, I want to surrender....although, if I'm being honest, some days I really only want to want to surrender. The battle is my own. It's me against myslef, one part of me fighting to let go and trust and one part fighting to hang on and control. Today, I give the trusting part of myself the greatest power and willingly turn my will over to God. He's always a far better pilot and navigator on this jounrey of life! Bring on the freedom!